Uncle Hyena (unclehyena) wrote,
Uncle Hyena

Despair and Madness

First, we have this link, courtesy of my friend Erika, discussing existential despair as a symptom of high intelligence: http://www.giftedbooks.com/authorarticles.asp?id=7

The short version of the story is that, the more intelligent you are, the more likely it is that your logical perception of the meaninglessness of existence will override your animal will to survive.

It will qualify as a, "Well, DUH!" for many of you; it ties up the fact that I have never been more than 30 days away from suicide since I was about 12 in a nice neat package.

My solutions have been Tricksterism, Aesthetic Metaphysics, and (last and most difficult) realizing that there are some places in my head I should just never go into, because there is far too good a chance that I will not come back out.

Somehow, this line of thinking segued into thoughts of HP Lovecraft, and his recurring theme of knowledge that shatters the sanity, a concept that I have always rejected. I wondered if my awareness that there were avenues which my thoughts could not follow if I wanted to survive was related to Lovecraft's Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. I have decided that they are, if anything, opposites. Lovecraft's horror is based on the idea of knowledge that shatters a rational and comfortable image of reality, while I know damned well that the universe is terrible, and choose not to dwell on that knowledge because there is still a fair amount of fun to be had while slithering inevitably into the darkness.

Uncle Hyena
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