Uncle Hyena (unclehyena) wrote,
Uncle Hyena


A couple of my co-workers were speculating on what their lives would be like if they had never had children when I walked by, and one of them asked me the reverse question: What did I think my life would be like if I had children?

I didn't have a ready answer; it wasn't a question I had thought about before. The answer I came up with didn't surprise me, but the conviction that it was absolutely true DID.

"I would be dead. I would have been so desperately unhappy that I would have killed myself long before I got to this age."

My co-worker abruptly changed the subject...

Growing up, I assumed I would someday be a father, but there has been NO time in my life when I was not utterly opposed to having a child in the next two years. Still, were I in a relationship with a woman who WANTED to have children (a point on which Dementia does not qualify) I might have had fatherhood forced upon me. And then...

And then the fatigue and inevitable lack of solitude (of which I need MUCH) and economic stress would have worn me down; the rage and self destructiveness that are NEVER very far beneath the surface would have inevitably come out. I can only hope I would have been my own first victim.

So yeah, dead. And the world a better place for it, too.

Some people are just not cut out for parenthood...

Uncle Hyena
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