Uncle Hyena (unclehyena) wrote,
Uncle Hyena

Psychotic Muse

So... Working on exercises for "Think Sideways". There is a series of "get to know your sub-conscious" exercises that start with a phrase in the middle of an otherwise blank sheet of paper, and you think about the phrase, and then write whatever comes into your head without editing... "I am drawn to..." produced a lot of stuff that anyone who has been paying attention could guess at. "I fear..." produced NOTHING, which is not really a surprise, once I figured out what it meant.

The interesting one, though, was, "I hate...." First word: YOU (Remember, this is my sub-conscious talking to my conscious mind...). Then: THIS (meaning the exercise). Then: EVERYTHING. And then a bunch of stuff about being desperately, hopelessly unhappy. I know that that stuff is in me, but I am amazed to find it that close to the surface, or so easy to access.

Figured out why my sub-conscious has no fears yet? It's SUICIDAL, that's why. OF COURSE if fears nothing. (The upside of this is that I now know where my chronic suicidal impulse lives...)

This course is going to be a LONG haul...

Uncle Hyena
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