Uncle Hyena (unclehyena) wrote,
Uncle Hyena

Double Nickel

I realized a while ago that I tend to celebrate the end of the year in stages; the first turn is Samhain, on October 31, then Hogmanay, on December 31, and finally, my birthday, on March 8. Among other things, this puts the whole of winter between years, and makes it easier to forget, and forgetting about winter is one of many peculiar things that are necessary to my psychological survival.

Last year was hard on me; my failure at the Texas 200 destroyed several of my dreams, and even took some of my joy of sailing, and that HURTS. I managed to gain 40 pounds. On the plus side... I have a great marriage; I have a few good friends; I have a job that mostly pays the bills, and a roof over my head. But there was nothing new to counterbalance what I have lost, and I am running out of dreams.

Winter is almost over, and I am solidly on the threshold of another year. I honestly do not know if what I am feeling is hope, or merely desperation driven hysteria; we shall see.

Uncle Hyena
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