Uncle Hyena (unclehyena) wrote,
Uncle Hyena

Mighty Killer Meatball

Strange things happen when I drive for a few hours with no sound system in the car...

It's incredibly silly drek, but the rhyme and meter are solid...

Mighty Killer Meatball

(To the tune of, "Those Were The Days")

Once upon a time there was a meatball
That rolled away and bounced across the floor.
When it came to rest in the cat litter,
It wasn't just a meatball any more.
It was a toxic wad, It came to life, by God!
It sprouted legs, and teeth and claws and eyes.
It ate the family cat, can you imagine that?
And then it searched for prey of larger size.

It wolfed down little Philbert in his cradle;
The family dog was just a moment's snack.
When Father tried to put up some resistence,
It realized it liked food that fought back!
It ate the neighborhood; the cops were awfully good.
It ate the town, and still it wanted more.
It ate without respite, enjoying every bite,
Until at last, it reached the ocean's shore.

It started to dissolve in the salt water;
It screamed and howled and whimpered as it died.
But soon enough the mighty killer meatball
Was random greasy garbage on the tide.
That's all I have to say, until another day,
When something else horrific and insane
That eyes should never see, will become known to me,
That I'll relate, but leave YOU to explain.

Paul Haynie
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