Uncle Hyena (unclehyena) wrote,
Uncle Hyena

Jailbait Samba

I will freely admit to being a lecherous old goat, and to having certain self destructive tendencies. I have also, in my travels, become acquainted with a number of sexually precocious sixteen year olds. Fortunately for all concerned, there is only the vaguest overlap between these two facts; my reactions to such creatures are almost entirely paternalistic and protective.


There are times, though...

The current Young Mistress Outrage is an occasional lunatic named Marcella, who lives on the outskirts of Albany, NY. After some recent outrage, I threatened to write an "Ode to Jailbait" for her, never really meaning to do so. She was amused by the idea.

The other day while driving, an EXTREMELY well known song got caught in my head, and one thing led to another.

(Look, I KNOW it's crap, ok? It's just rather amusing and enchanting crap.)

Uncle Hyena

Jailbait Samba
(apologies to Jobim)
For Marcella

Short and cute and oh-so-willing,
She smiles a promise that's oh-so-thrilling;
The girl is jailbait, son, keep your mind on the road.

Like a princess in a candy shell,
Demon princess, take you right to hell;
Kiss this girl, son, and you'll turn into a toad.

Why do I let her get to me?
I shouldn't let her get to me,
But she gives me a wink and a smile,
And my brain goes away for a while...

Young and sweet and wise and knowing,
She knows her cloven hooves are showing;
The girl is jailbait, son, keep your mind on the road.

Paul Haynie
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