Uncle Hyena (unclehyena) wrote,
Uncle Hyena

Bloody Grammar

On Tuesday I took an eight hour CPR and first aid course. I have had a number of these since the first time, in 1968 (at which point CPR hadn't even been invented yet); it is amusing to see how the process has changed over the years. This time around the instructor was a paramedic who had been through the real deal more than 100 times, and he had some interesting comments to add. ("The victim WILL vomit; they always vomit. Deal with it." "There will be some snap, crackly pop sounds at the beginning; don't let it scare you. It is impossible to perform CPR on anyone over the age of about 20 without separating the sternum, so just get on with it.")

In the course of things, they talked about what to do if you have to deal with someone who has an ice pick through his hand, or a rebar through his chest, or similar atrocity. (Bandage around it, try to immobilize the thing, and only cut it off as necessary for transport.) No big deal, except for the assault on the English language that took place in the process. It seems that the cretins in charge decided it would be acceptable to call the problem, "Dealing with an IMPALED object." It wasn't the instructor's fault, so I didn't take it out on him, but I think I did start to twitch noticeably.

The hand is IMPALED, the ice pick IMPALES; it is an IMPALING object. The material kept referring to the ice pick as an IMPALED object...


"Cutting the other fellow's throat is only a momentary pleasure, and is bound to get you talked about." (Robert A. Heinlein in the character of Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love".)


Uncle Hyena
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